Facebook and Finding Long Lost Friends

I think this blog template is a little too pink...I might have to change that after I post this.

Anyway, I was reminded today that I never followed up on my class reunion. It was held at the Koolau Golf Club about a month ago. I went with my gal pals, the ones I met in intermediate school and still hang out with til this day. I should note that one of these gal pals, who I'll call Elastagirl, is actually a year younger than me, but she hung out with us more than she did people in her class, so we invited her as our guest. We met The Stuff Guy (TSG) there and grabbed a table. The atmosphere was casual, which was nice. It was in a place called "Honeys," a place I presume is normally some kind of a restaurant. $25 got us heavy pupus, which was actually a pretty decent meal -- except there was no rice, which was odd considering that mac salad was one of the dishes. No host bar.

The drinks here were kind of pricey, which was probably a good thing since it helped to control how much I drank. I decided to limit myself to two drinks, in part because at some point I would have to drive from my friends house in Kailua to my house in town, and in part because I got plastered at my 10th reunion and had to have a friend drive me home.

Although I always enjoy seeing old friends and finding out what's going on in everyone's lives, this reunion wasn't as much fun as the 10th. I think part of it was that I wasn't involved in any of the planning, which is one of my "things." I'm pretty sure anyone who has known me fairly well at any point in my life, including now, will tell you that I was always involved in organizing or planning something. Nonetheless, it was still a somewhat eventful evening.

People seemed to hang out with their old high school cliques. I didn't socialize nearly as much as I did at the 10th, although I did speak to a couple of people that weren't part of my high school social circle. I was able to socialize with those I was most interested in catching up with, like our class president. At our 10th reunion, she had 3 children and said she and her husband wanted a total of 6...and they obtained their goal!

Ooh, and there were also door prizes, so that was cool. I won a $10 Starbucks gift card and a bag.

There were a few surprises in store for me. The first one was seeing a guy I had a love-hate relationship with in high school. I think the last time I saw him was probably about 18 years ago. He was literally the only person I knew in high school that I did not recognize at the reunion. I only knew it was him by looking at his name tag. So it was nice catching up with him in a civilized manner. The other surprise is one of the long-lost friends I got back in touch with earlier this year. He was supposed to return to the mainland before the reunion, but managed to stick around to attend.

It ended up being a fairly early night since we got kicked out of the place sometime around 10:30. Some people were going to head off to a bar in Kailua to continue the party, but my group chose to go home.

So what do I do when I go home? What I do practically every night...I log on to GMail and do other stuff on the computer. And who do I find also on GMail? TSG. Remember when people used to call each other on the phone? Although I had a number of people in the intermediate, high school, and early college days calling me, usually because they needed someone to talk to and I kind of became the Charlie Brown psychiatrist, I was never really much of a phone-talker. I always liked writing better, so GMail chat is great for me. Plus you can walk away if you need to and come back to the conversation when you're ready. Anyway, I'm getting side-tracked...my point is that TSG and I were chatting, and then I got Elastagirl to sign up for GMail since she and I were e-mailing each other back and forth at the same time. That way we could group chat.

Then Elastagirl sends me a link to the Facebook page she just signed up for. I look at it and immediately dismiss it as a Myspace-kinda-thing that I have no interest in doing. I'm telling TSG about it and commented that I can't even keep up with my own blog, why would I want to do Facebook? But I sign up mainly to look at Elastagirl's page. Then Facebook ends up "finding" people I know! Cool! So I add them as friends too. Now, one month later, I'm up to 45 friends and I spend time on it every day while I'm doing other stuff on the computer.

I've been questioned about "what's so great about Facebook." I have nothing else to compare it to, so I can't tell you whether it's "better" than MySpace, but I can tell you that Facebook can be used for many purposes and those on Facebook have a great deal of control over what they want to share on their pages and who they want to share it with. I've seen people use it primarily as a source of advertising for their business or cause, and some people who just use it for plain ol' fun, which is me.

It's also been a great tool to reconnect with people who seemingly dropped off the face of the earth. For example, I found a couple of high school classmates that I don't think I've seen or heard much of since high school, but I was curious about, especially after the reunion. I was actually amazed that they remembered me...or perhaps they're just not very discerning about who they add as "friends" on Facebook. =) I've also been able to reconnect with people who have moved and I haven't heard from in over 10 years.

Ironically, I don't necessarily chat or otherwise communicate with some of these people, but it's fun to look at their Facebook pages and see how their personalities are reflected through the content of the page. Some pages don't really have much on them, but others have all kinds of stuff like what their favorite tv shows, movies, and music are. I also really enjoy looking at the pictures people have on their pages. I try to find what I enjoy looking at on other people's pages and add those features to my own page.

Facebook has also helped me to develop relationships with people I know through work. There are people in my building who I have as Facebook friends that I have probably chatted with more on Facebook than I have in person! I also get to see a more personal side of these people than I would at work. It's nice to find something in common with people I work with, other than work.

I guess I really shouldn't be surprised that I ended up liking Facebook so much. Like I said, I was never much of a "talker" (believe it or not...I know some of my friends are laughing at that comment and saying, "yeah, right!"), and as soon as I learned about chat rooms, like Interact way back in the early 90s, as well as other discussion boards, I was in them. Facebook allows you to keep in touch with others as time allows and in the manner you're comfortable with.

So, if you're interested in keeping in touch with your current friends, or maybe finding some long lost friends, check out Facebook. But beware...you could become an addict like I have.

Random Musings

Yeah, yeah, I know I owe my loyal readers, I think I'm up to 8 or 9 of you now, a bunch of reviews on a bunch of stuff. You don't even know what I owe you, because I've been keeping a mental list, but I feel like because it's in my mind it's a done deal...I owe you. I owe you reviews on the movies Kung Fu Panda, Get Smart (although I fell asleep thru some of the best parts -- but don't hold that against the movie), and most recently, the Dark Knight. I also plan on a bunch of food reviews: a second review of J.J.'s French Pastry and breakfast and Diamond Head Market and Grill.

But for now I just feel like babbling. Maybe if I babble a bit, I'll get all of the excess energy out of my system and be able to focus on finishing the reviews I owe you. So what is it I want to babble about? Well, all kinds of things really, which is probably why my mind is so cluttered.

A while back, I mentioned that my reunion is coming up. This weekend, in fact. Part of the fun of a reunion is not just the reunion itself, but all the things that come along with it like planning, and the "are you going?" stuff, as well as catching up with people you haven't seen or talked to in a while. The funny thing is, there are some people who you can not talk to for 5 or 10 years, yet you can pick up as if you just spoke with them yesterday. And I find this applies to all kinds of friends, from the super close ones you were friends with for years, to the ones you may have had a sort of short-term friendship with. Applying a timeline or term-limit to a friendship is really a misnomer. Although I have had one or two friendships that have been terminated for one reason or another, I really consider the majority of my friendships to have a life term.

Why am I getting all "deep" about this stuff? I guess every so often I really think about how important friendship is to me, and my reunion has led me to "renew" some of my friendships, long-distance and short-distance. So today, one of my long-distance friends who is visiting from the mainland and one of my short-distance friends and I spent the day driving around the island, which reminded me of what we used to do 15 or so years ago. While we were driving around, we pieced together what's going on with who, and reminisced about what teachers said when we were in 7th grade, the teachers we had in high school, and how we used to get into trouble in trigonometry class.

I only communicate with my long-distance friend maybe once a year. This visit was unusual since I recently saw her in November. And my short-distance friend, until earlier this month, I probably haven't seen or communicated with for maybe 3 or 5 years. Does that really matter? Really? No, not at all. Life goes in cycles. We all have lives. I don't hold it against anyone, and I hope they don't hold it against me. Friendships should be based on quality, and not the quantity of time spent. People have different philosophies on this...some people feel it's good to know lots of people and to constantly be surrounded by them. I probably know more people than I think I do, but I don't care about that. It's my oldest friends that I consider my closest, regardless of the cumulative amount of time I've spent with or communicated with them. Even though I've developed some pretty close friendship in my adult life, even the closest of those friendships do not hold the same bond that my older friendships from intermediate and high school days do.

Anyway, I'm getting too deep. So deep that I'm starting to confuse myself and my brain is starting to hurt. So let's talk about something to relieve the pressure on my brain, and yours too, if you're still reading.

So my short-distance friend has introduced me to his own blog, which has links to his friend's blogs. My blog is linked on his site now (thanks!). Sometime soon I'm going to revise this blog and will add links to other blogs as well. Anyway, so his friends have some really cool blogs! And likewise, his friends blogs have links to their friends blogs, which are also cool! One of the fun ones I spent a bunch of time on last night was about bentos. This girl has an obsession with creating festive and colorful bento. Some of you have probably seen e-mails going around with cutesie pictures of bento, and I suspect a lot of those pictures came from her site. Some of the other sites have stuff about food, weight loss, pregnancy, photography, and travel. All cool stuff! What I think is really cool is that I find myself enjoying reading about these people I don't even know. Their blogs are exemplary of them and their interests, and they are very skilled in conveying their thoughts, emotions, and opinions through their blogs in an entertaining and compelling way. I can only hope that someday my blog will emulate what so many other blogs have to offer.

In addition to my class reunion, this weekend I'm also getting together with some girls I worked with a LOOONNNGGG time ago at Bank of America. To give you an idea how long ago this was, I left that job in January 1998 -- yep, 10 years ago. I've been really lucky that with all of my jobs, I've made some good, lasting friendships. The "bank girls" get together a couple times a year. Usually we have a holiday get together, and maybe one or two other outings. Out of this group, only one is still at the bank (now American Savings) -- this Sunday makes her 20th year anniversary with the bank! Amazing! And congratulations!

Ok, I think I have gotten the excess energy (and thoughts) out of my system for now. My short-distance friend refers to this as "brain dump," which is quite literally what it is. Thanks for hanging in there with me. And remember, I owe you...

Kailua High, Class of 1988

Boy, am I starting to feel OLD! Most people who know me probably have no idea how old I really am, because for the most part, I still act like a 20-something. I am actually quite in denial about my age too, and honestly don't think about it much. So why am I thinking about it now? The primary reason is that this year marks 20 years since I have graduated from high school...TWENTY years! I still remember many events like they happened yesterday! All the high school dances, checking out guys from other schools (especially Pearl City), extracurricular activities like the Interact Club, and just how much FUN I was having. When I was in high school, the Safeway in Kailua on Hamakua Drive had just opened, as did the Kailua Zippy's. Prior to Zippy's opening in Kailua, we would drive to Kaneohe, or sometimes even Waiau (mostly because all the cute guys seemed to live in Pearl City), just to eat!

I also feel old at times when I find out how old some of the people are that work with me. Last year we had an 18 year old working in my office, and he didn't believe me when I told him that I was twice his age! I guess that's a good thing, but just the fact that I could be twice the age of anyone who's not still in high school kinda freaks me out!

So now I'm thinking about my 20 year class reunion. It's amazing how technology has made things so much easier. Ten years ago, I can't remember how, but our class president somehow managed to get in touch with a bunch of us to help plan the reunion. Now, since I haven't seen or talked to the class president since the last reunion, and I didn't have her contact info on me, I just googled her! Boom, her e-mail address pops up, and I can just e-mail her. Plus, I find a website, classreport.org, where a bunch of my classmates have already signed up to keep updated.

Some people dread reunions or just don't go because high school wasn't all that special to them. After hearing other people's high school experiences, I feel that I am actually quite lucky. High school was actually a great experience for me, and I realized that it really helped shape the person I am today. I am also grateful for my intermediate and high school experiences because it was what led me to meeting the people who are my closest friends today. While I have met other people after graduation that I am friends with, I know that my oldest friends are the ones that I really feel a special closeness with, even if we only talk to each other once or twice a year. I have classmates where I can not talk to them for years, but when I do talk to them, it's like time never passed at all.

Another reason I am looking forward to my class reunion is seeing the people I never really knew in high school. You know, the ones where you know who they are, but don't think they know who you are? At my last reunion, I was amazed that people in different cliques really did know who I was, and it was interesting to hear people's perceptions of me (most of them thought I was a bookworm -- although I was in advanced placement classes, I was also a slacker!). My 10th year reunion was a chance to get to know people that I didn't really know while we were in school, and also a chance to see how people changed over the years.

Anyway, I'm sure I have bored most of you to death, and promise that my use of this blog to share my innermost feelings will be quite limited. This post was partly a way to procrastinate the continuance of my Alaska trip report, which most of you have probably given up on! Thanks for hanging in there.